YOUR DIVORCE CHECKLIST

Divorce is never easy, nor is there a perfect methodology when you are going through the difficult process of initiating this life change.

However, in an effort to break things down as simply as possible, here is a short checklist of a few crucial steps you want to be clear about and have taken one you have decided you want to move forward with divorce.  

1. Clarity About Your Decision

You have thought long and hard about this big move and you are 100% sure divorce is the choice you want to make for your future wellness and happiness.

This seems like a no-brainer, but, unfortunately because this is such a big step and life change, many people lead with their emotions rather than think through all the reason why you want to end the marriage, as well as going through the possible ramifications of staying and leaving.

2. Have Knowledge About Your Finances & Necessary Documents

The truth is that aside from the emotional turmoil and processing all of the changes, divorce, is in fact mostly a financial transaction.

Most people think the first meeting you should have when deciding to move forward with divorce is a lawyer, but I believe having a clear understanding of your current finances will not only empower you about the current state of your financial situation, but will be enormously helpful when meeting with an attorney.

It may be helpful to meet with an accountant who understands divorce and is proficient and knowledgable about tax to help you organize your financial information. This includes your assets, debts, income, current monthly expenditures, anticipated expenses post divorce, and assisting with your net worth statement which can be quite daunting.

A good accountant can also be worth his or her weight in gold when it comes to assisting your attorney determine any important tax implications seen and unforeseen to create the most robust stipulation of separation for your long-term protection. Lastly, 

3. Consult a Divorce/Family Law Attorney

Once you have your financial documents together, you can proceed to meet with an attorney who will explain the divorce law in your state, the next steps, overview of potential legal costs and some possible outcomes.

You may have noticed that I suggest meeting with an accountant first and the reason is that aside from child custody issues, your finances will be the focus of these proceedings. Having a good handle on your financial situation will alleviate many questions from your attorney during your first meeting, as well as to arm him or her with the information required to determine possible anticipated outcomes. 

Depending on your specific circumstances, mediation may be a good option. This is also a good time to have all of your questions answered so you are as clear as possible about what to expect as you proceed. I provide my clients with a list of 24 questions to ask their attorney during their first meeting. (you can view this list by CLICKING HERE.)

4.  Have a General Plan or Vision for Post-Separation

Here is where a divorce coach can assist in giving you emotional and strategic support in defining your goals and the necessary steps to transition from being part of a married couple to a newly separated and divorced individual.

This is one of the most difficult parts of the divorce process, but the more prepared you can be about what’s most important to you in the key areas of your life (financially, residentially, as a parent (if applicable), career/work-wise, and socially) as well as the necessary steps to enable personal empowerment,  the easier it will be to manage stress through the emotional and physical upheaval of divorce. 

5. Have a Plan for Emotional Support and Self-Care

No one is ever prepared for divorce, even if it is what you want. It is vital to have an emotional support system that you can rely on such as friends, family, therapist, and/or coach to help shoulder the turmoil of this very challenging time.

Being kind to yourself, getting extra rest, good nutrition, fresh air and relaxation/mindfulness techniques are all vital do the changes you will be experiencing and the stress this can and often does cause.  

Till next time,
-Elisa