If you are like me, you probably feel so overwhelmed by the divorce process - the legalities, the amount of time everything takes, disempowerment about what you expected versus what is the reality, and perhaps blown away by the cost. Not to mention all the emotions you are feeling - pain, hurt, anger, rage, fear sadness and guilt. And, although you may be an intelligent, self-starter, highly functional, and self-responsible individual in all areas of your life, divorce is one of those life experiences that can result in sudden self beliefs and behavior that is out of character for you. This includes falling into the "victim mentality" mindset. What is Victim Mentality? "At its core, a victim mindset is rooted in trauma, distress, and pain most of the time. When you experience a traumatic situation, typically at the hands of other people, you may learn that you are helpless and that nothing you do in the future is going to make any difference" according to psychologist and author, Arlin Cuncic, MA. Clearly with divorce, there is trauma by the very nature of breaking up a marriage and in most cases, an entire of family. The ways this life change impacts a person are numerous and unique to each situation, but commonly include new physical and financial demands, co-parenting stress and change in residence. These are justifiable reasons to feel a sense of being victimized. Feeling Like a Victim During Divorce is Normal Feeling hit from every angle, not getting what you want or expect is usually what causes this victimized feeling. Learning the reality of things like spousal support, child support, visitation, asset division, coupled with experienced advice from your lawyer and decisions rendered by a judge can be shocking, angering and leave you feeling defeated and out of control. In some cases this is further aggravated by having experienced infidelity, or even the hateful and purposeful vitriol of a narcissistic ex-spouse. What Characterizes A Victim Mentality? At its core, victim mentality is a mindset of learned helplessness. In the case of divorce, this is usually a feeling brought by this event and is not necessarily a personality trait. Nonetheless, it can overpower you with feeling out of control and unable to see the light at the end of the divorce tunnel. Some of the characteristics of victim mentality include:
Not Letting "Victim Mentality" Overtake and Define You While common during divorce, if left unrecognized or unaddressed, "victim mentality" mindset, can be self-defeating and detrimental to your sense of empowerment and well-being long-term. Sometimes circumstances just suck and you don't have the control you want. This does not mean that you should allow yourself to stay stuck in the internal belief that you are helpless. Instead, embracing the view that you are the architect of your life is key. A prolonged victim mentality causes you to lose perspective that you DO have control of the way you react to circumstances and an ability to create a path for the future life you want. How to Overcome A Victim Mindset? There are ways to take control of your divorce and regain normalcy. 1. Acknowledge the Feelings Validating your frustration, sadness and disappointment is a first step to healing feeling like a victim. 2. Self-Care With the right self-care and compassion, you can move through this. According to Arlin Cuncic, MA, "victim mentalities are subconsciously adopted as a way to cope, often from past trauma. Be compassionate to yourself in your recovery. Practice self-care and self-love. " 3. Knowledge is Power Empowering yourself early on in the process with basic divorce law norms and outcomes will lessen your shock and allow you to deal more pro-actively with what otherwise would have blindsided you and caused feelings of victimization. 4. Utilize Professional Experts Build a team of professionals in key disciplines such as divorce coaching, accounting, tax, insurance, financial planning, credit and loan. Many of these experts do not charge for consultations and it will enable you to have a 40,000 foot view of your unique situation and how to best approach your settlement agreement and future life plan. 5. Set Your Goals Having clearly defined goals for your post-divorce life allows you to keep blinders on to avoid getting sidetracked and triggered when things don't go the way you want or expect. In this way you are being the architect of your life. 6. Emotional Support Engage in practices that will support an empowered state of mind such as mindfulness, meditation, therapy or coaching, journaling and self help books. Love & Light - Elisa
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Getty images/Stockphoto When emotions run high during divorce, simple conversations can digress into highly contentious fights.
Can you relate to this if you have gone through or witnessed someone going through divorce? You may be talking about how the lawn needs mowing and the next thing you know, you are screaming about how HE bought his girlfriend a new car. This happens when you are filled with anger, rage, hurt, fear and overall sadness. Your emotions just escalate and are ready, at any moment, to explode. The Everest Syndrome I call this phenomenon "The Everest Syndrome" - you shoot right up Mount Everest in a nano second and all bets are off for any positive outcome. There is no room for healthy conversation or collaborate communication to create productive solutions. Everyone feels worse as a result, and it keeps you in a negative cycle. This not only wears on your self esteem, but also negatively impacts your emotional and physical well being. Getting Perspective Can Help Most people might view this as a self control problem. But in reality, it’s not. It’s really about not being grounded and having perspective. During divorce, the only way to have true perspective is to be focused on your priorities and end goals. Ever notice how when you are driving and following your GPS, you don’t really notice much along the way? You are so laser focused on following the directions to get to your end point destination that you couldn't recount much of what you passed during the drive. Stay Focused On Your End Goal This dynamic of having virtual blinders on is true for any challenging experience in life. In the case of divorce, where it is so easy to get derailed and fall into the trap of repeating the same old conversations and arguments, it’s imperative to know and stay focused on what your end goals are if you are to avoid "Everesting" when talking to your soon-to-be ex-spouse. Perspective is achieved when you are aware and in touch with the desired outcomes and goals you most want for your life post divorce. Defining your goals ("destination") involves knowing your priorities and having them in focus at all times. Questions to Help You Define Your Goals Ask yourself the following general questions:
Digging deeper and answer these questions:
Perspective is a Process With these self-focused desired outcomes top of mind, you will be more apt to keep blinders on and not getting derailed as easily when emotions run high during interactions with your soon-to-be Ex. You will gain more perspective, enabling you to step back, fall into a grounded state thereby reducing the the fever pitch feelings that might otherwise be right below the surface. You will start to view that which is not vital to getting to your end goals as a waste of time, and not be as primed to take the bate when disagreements arise. Over time, this will lessen the chances of discussions digressing into unproductive debates and screaming matches. As a Divorce Coach, I've seen what goal setting can do to maintain a laser focus on the big picture and minimize unproductive outbursts that only serve to waste time, lower one's vibration and increase legal bills. But remember, Rome wasn't built in a day. Like anything else in the face of difficult life changes, getting centered is a process. Saying your goals out loud and visualizing the desired outcomes daily as if they already exist will reinforce their importance for when you are faced with a potential Everest moment. - Elisa With the breakup of a marriage, the tragic fact is that either one person or both will be moving and changing residences.
Home Is Your Safe Place Since our home is our safe place and sanctuary, changing where we live is one of the most emotionally charged and even traumatic experiences of the divorce process. And, it affects everyone in the family. Your home provides comfort, a sense of stability, and it is the place that is tied to so many memories. Unlike many other changes during divorce, (except for issues concerning our children), moving out of your residence during divorce and its impact on one's state of emotional well-being is quite profound. Moving Shakes Stability Moving changes your sense of routine and grounding under the best of circumstances, so when it’s something you must do because you are breaking up a marriage, the negative effects are numerous. They include feeling displaced, a shake-up in one's identity, great sadness, anxiety and even depression. Get Heart Centered - Create a "Home Vision" The transition of moving out of your home to a new and unfamiliar space is a process. While there are lots of practical issues that have to be dealt with when changing residences, I want to focus here on how to address the internal struggles and some ways to minimize the pain of this transition. Getting out of your head and becoming heart-centered is a great place to start. There will be plenty of time and professionals to assist you with the practical aspects of your residence change. Take some time to reflect and write out what your vision is for your new home and living situation. What are the features that best suit your day to day living and enable peace of mind through the divorce transition and beyond? Define Your New Home Your new home will become your new safe space. Therefore, determining the type of residence and the specific characteristics that you desire is a first step to ensuring long term that your new home will provide comfort and refuge. Reflect on what type of residence will best fit your lifestyle. For example, private house, apartment, condo, etc. Ask yourself which rooms and spaces have the most significance and say “home” to you - the kitchen, a family room, a backyard. List your desires in order of importance and determine which ones are non-negotiable for you and your new life. Reclaim Control Feeling like your soon-to-be ex-spouse, the judge and even your attorney for that matter, are in control of outcomes during divorce is not uncommon, particularly when your life is changing so rapidly. This is especially true when circumstances dictate that you must uproot and move. Imagining and writing down your home vision enables empowerment and grounding as well as a sense of control in a situation that feels like everything is out of control. Embrace the Positives In spite of the change in living quarters and the sadness and anxiety that accompanies it, "feel" the positives that may come with this new space. Is there anything you will be gaining that really pleases you? If you can find one or two things, keep your focus on this and embrace the joy that comes with these thoughts. Establish Home Goals Goals are key when going through any life transition. When it comes to starting life in your new home, create a plan of action for transforming it into a space that reflects your unique personality, habits and lifestyle. Start to envision the way you will be living day to day, with your kids, extended family, friends and pets. Think ahead to joyous occasions and holidays and the integral role your new home will play in building new, meaningful memories. "Feel" the happiness of these new visions and in so doing, you will start to invent a new home life future before it has even begun! - Elisa Schedule a Strategy Call Today. If you know the feeling of OVERWHELM during divorce, you are probably wondering - is there an end in sight??
I know how it feels - getting hit from every direction during divorce - especially in the early stages. Financial Concerns The beginning stages bring with it the first wave of financial concerns - lawyer retainers, net worth statements, temporary support and the uncertainty of how much money you will receive or have to pay long-term and the impact on your day to day living. Residential Issues Living and housing considerations include the stress of one person moving out (another expense and unnerving experience) or both residing together until the divorce is final (which can be a nightmare in itself). Visitation Then there's the issue of the children and creating new and often challenging (and stressful for all) visitation schedules. Plethora of Long-Term Uncertainties Long-term concerns include the division of assets, breaking up joint household arrangements like insurance (car, health, homeowners, and life) dividing belongings, taxes, selling of a marital home (if applicable), credit and new loan issues, getting back into the workplace, new schedules and responsibilities as a single person, how to deal with family events, holidays and celebrations, adjusting to single parenthood and co-parenting. All this while trying to do the day to day life responsibilities and go to work. Emotional Upheaval And lest we forget the title wave of emotional upheaval that comes with breaking up a marriage and family - sadness, anger, fear, anxiety, guilt, loss of identity, feeling displaced, exhaustion, etc etc. WHEW! I'm exhausted just writing this! The Problem - Going It Alone Most people have the misguided idea that they have to bear the burden of all of this alone. This takes an already daunting situation and magnifies it further. The result is feeling consistently stressed, an inability to relax, which can lead to lack of sleep, unhealthy eating (either over or under eating) a state of mind that is NOT well suited for thinking clearly and making the best decisions for yourself and your future. Oftentimes, this leads to being so overloaded that you just feel stuck. The Solution - Getting Support The solution is really quite simple - Get Support! Having the support of friends and family who make you feel good and are there to lend an ear or lend a hand to ease the overwhelm of your new lifestyle and the legal process is vital. Professional support, such as a therapist or coach will provide much needed help in shouldering the burden so you can take one step at a time. The result will be clearer thinking and workable action plans to manage the whole enchilada. This is a great antidote for relieving stress, overwhelm and feeling stuck, and allowing you to see some light at the end of the tunnel. In this way, it becomes easier to move forward empowered, and implement a well-thought out methodical and manageable plan for each issue of concern. I’ve witnessed the transformation that occurs when objectivity and support is present to get through divorce, making it easier to breath and attack each issue with clarity for self-serving results. Be kind to yourself and get support in managing all of the elements thrown at you throughout the divorce process. You should not shoulder this overwhelming experience alone. Schedule a Strategy Call today. - Elisa Ever wonder why so many people are angry about their divorce settlement? I was like most people, and got my divorce law "education" from television and the movies, believing those expressions, "I will take him to the cleaners" or "She will get nothing." And in TV programs and movies, there is always a victorious party (usually the protagonist) who gets everything they want (and believe they deserve), while the other party gets nothing. No wonder so many people have a false expectation with their own divorces. The truth is, this is not how real life and the law work. To think like this is just setting yourself up for disappointment and emotional upset when it comes to the outcome of your divorce. Having Unrealistic Expectations Sets You Up To Be Angry
Having unrealistic expectations is usually the result of not having a basic, working knowledge of divorce law and the basis for which decisions are rendered by the court. An inability to manage expectations causes tremendous stress, which can manifest in feeling that your attorney is not on your side. This is because he/she is coming from a perspective of working within the parameters of the law and the formulas and norms used to render decisions pertaining to asset division, spousal/child support, visitation and many other aspects dealing with marital breakup. This can result in the all too common “victim mentality” that everyone - the judge and even your lawyer are against you. Know the Basics About Divorce Law in Your State Having a general understanding of the basic divorce laws in your state can do wonders for managing those unrealistic expectations and facilitating clarity and a sense of empowerment during divorce. For example, knowing if you live in a no-fault state, and that alimony (“spousal support”) and child support are figured out based on formulas rather than arbitrarily decided upon, are only a few of the facts that will help you when beginning your divorce journey. Managing Expectations Saves Time and Money Being forearmed with as much knowledge as possible about the basic laws and possible outcomes of your divorce settlement will help you manage your expectations and feel less like a victim. Empowering yourself in this way will also reduce stress, minimize unnecessary arguing, save you precious time and valuable money. Knowledge is power when navigating divorce and your best investment for a successful outcome! - Elisa Did you know that men have a more difficult time with divorce recovery than women? Research has shown that divorce is harder on men than on women AND generally speaking, men have more to lose in terms of both happiness and health. Here are 5 factors that contribute. Men Avoid Grieving Men are not apt to allow themselves to feel the sadness, vulnerability and loss of control that accompanies divorce. Because they pride themselves in being the emotionally stronger sex, they often keep their emotions bottled up, and often resort to self destructive behaviors like drinking or harmful sexual behavior. Lack of Emotional Connections In marriage, men are reliant on their wives for the emotional support since women are natural caretakers. She is often their confidant, listener, friend and even therapist. Men take pride in being strong and able to handle things alone so unlike women, do not express their emotions as freely with others. This can lead to health problems including insomnia, weight loss or gain, anxiety, and depression. Financial Burdens New obligations in the way of alimony, child support and supporting two households can cause much stress in balancing finances. Loss of Family Structure Since most times, it is the man who leaves, so they are often the one to lose the comfort and safety of their home, the family structure and daily physical contact with their children. Moving Too Fast Skipping the grieving process and connecting to themselves often leads to "getting back out there" as a way to avoid the pain and thus heal. This often leads to troubled relationships and, more likely, divorce in their second marriage. Coaching is a valuable option as a safe space for opening up about the challenges experienced during this traumatic, transitional time. It can provide support for dealing with the emotional impact of divorce and a roadmap for moving forward in a healthy manner for mind, body and spirit. These days it's a rare occasion that I'll meander into my teenage daughters' rooms as I'm usually met with a tornado-like scene. Clothes strewn all over, an unmade bed, empty shopping bags, empty Starbucks cups on the dresser are the likes to which I am usually greeted. This disorganized mess is the spark that turns me into a nagging, lecturing mother, "how can you even think in this mess?!" Of course disorganization is not just limited to teenagers. People of all ages can find themselves surrounded by clutter and in a state of disorganization which is not beneficial to our health. In a 2014 issue of the Journal of Affective Disorders, researchers found that people with clutter have a harder time processing information and have difficulty making decisions. So, as you embark on the new year, consider adding decluttering and getting organized to your 2023 goals and enjoy some of the following benefits. 1. Reduces Stress There is evidence that living in a state of organization can actually reduce stress. According to a 2012 study, women who shared that their home environments were not organized actually had higher levels of the stress hormone cortisol than those women who described their homes as orderly. Existing in this stressed state is not healthy. Therefore, with a little clutter clean up, it stands to reason that you will lower stress and even reduce some anxiety. 2. Increases Self Confidence According to Carolyn Verhoef, Life Organizing Coach, "Getting organized is a powerfully resilient way to build your self-confidence. What’s even better is it will also build confidence and a sense of security in those around you." Think about how much more empowered you feel when you know where things are or when you have your thoughts in order by composing a to do list with which to work from throughout the day. It gives you a sense of being in control as the commander of your world and your environment. 3. Makes You More Productive Being organized in your physical environment as well as your mental state goes a long way to up-leveling productivity. Knowing where things are in your home and office allows you to access what you need quicker and more easily, thereby allowing you to focus on the task at hand. In the same way, having your thoughts, activities and work laid out in an orderly fashion - set to goals and specific time frames - enables smoother follow through. According to an article from The University of Rochester, "When you are organized ...you can prioritize work and excel, which aids your career progress and life success." 4. Enables Better Sleep Let's face it, we've all been there - preoccupied and unable to rest peacefully at night because we are distracted with all the things we need to do. When you prioritize organization, you give yourself time to focus on what really matters, like your much-needed sleep, because you can rest assured that everything is in its proper place with a plan of action for getting things done. 5. Frees Up Time When you know where things are, what you have to do and where you have to be, you will have an easier time getting tasks done quickly without unnecessary distractions or interruptions. You minimize time wasting endeavors like looking for needed things or trying to figure out what you are supposed to do next. A recent survey conducted by the National Association for Professional Organizers in 2015, found that over a third of readers were overwhelmed by their clutter. Living more organized allows for being more efficient, and as a result, leaves more time for doing what you love to do and be happy. Studies show that when your mood is elevated, your immune system is too, while cortisol levels are lowered. Both of these factors contribute to being healthier. Love & Light, Elisa Change, by definition is the act or instance of making or becoming different. As humans, our brains are not wired for change. In fact, one could go as far as to say that the brain actually hates change. In fact, when we experiences change, it challenges our sense of stability. Our brain's job is to keep us safe, and that usually means keeping things the same and familiar. If the brain decides the change is, in fact, threatening, then it will resist or avoid the change as much as possible. This resistance is what makes the transition through change often a difficult and challenging experience for us. Here are a few techniques that can prove helpful during times of change in our lives or our environment. 1. Acknowledge That Things Are Changing Realize that even good change can cause stress. Try to figure out what's going on in your mind when you're feeling sad, hopeless or full of fear. Having conscious awareness is the first step to breaking patterns of negative and low vibrational thinking. According to Psychology Today "Denial is a powerful force, and it protects us in many ways. However, stepping outside of it and saying to yourself, "Things are changing, and it is okay" can be less stressful than putting it off." As a result of acknowledging the shifts happening in your reality, you can better incorporate them and create your new normal. 2. Reframe The Way You Think When life is in flux or transition, emotions can run high and feelings of overwhelm are common. Once you acknowledge the change(s), the next step is to reframe all that feels "bad" or "negative" into some kind of positive. Try to write down the positives that have come from this change or the positive impact it will have on your future. 3. Strive To maintain Some Normalcy Change in anything in our lives can be unsettling and cause stress no matter how big or small. Whether it be a major life event such as a divorce, loss of a loved one, new job, a move, children leaving the nest, or a small shift like modifying eating, sleeping or exercise habits, keeping up your regular schedule will reinforce the comfort of normalcy and stability. 4. Seek Support Today there is no shortage of professionals and support groups to provide assistance with working through life transitions and changes. Getting your questions answered, creating strategies, and having an ear to listen are all integral parts of successfully working through change. With major life events such as the loss of a loved one, engaging a grief counselor or a support group is often a necessary step to help you process the loss and slowly work your way into your changed circumstance. 5. Practice Gratitude During times of change, feeling overwhelmed and stressed can lead to feelings of worry, fear and anger. These low frequency energies work against maintaining a positive mindset, which helps with a successful transition through whatever change you are experiencing. The higher your energy frequency or vibration, the lighter you feel in your physical, emotional and mental bodies. You experience greater personal power, clarity, peace, love and joy. This makes it easier to deal with emotional challenges. One of the quickest ways to achieve a high vibration is to practice gratitude. When you are thankful, it is usually because you have received something or something has been given to you. As a result, experiencing gratitude, fills you with a joy and excitement as well as a sense of knowing that you have the gift in your present reality. Therefore, being thankful for all the things you already have and those you wish to have, allows you to manifest that reality and move through change easier. 6. Eat Healthy Food is what nourishes our bodies and all of your bodily systems. While it is important to eat healthy and with regularity all the time, during times of change, this is even more important. Eating healthy keeps your immune system strong, which can get run down when you are stressed. Additionally, according to Harvard School of Public Health, nutritious eating "provides the extra energy needed to cope with stressful events. Early research suggests that certain foods like polyunsaturated fats including omega-3 fats and vegetables may help to regulate cortisol levels." Cortisol is the hormone which gets released when we are stressed, better known as the fight or flight mode. A well scheduled intake of nutritious foods will help to minimize its release, maintaining a calm state of being. 7. Be Kind to Yourself Since you now know that change is not something that comes natural or easily to you as a human, you may want to consider being more patient and kind with yourself. So often in my practice I see individuals put tremendous pressure on themselves to adapt quickly when their world is in flux. Even worse, it is not uncommon to be self-critical and engage in negative self-talk which results in feelings of worthlessness, failure, and guilt when unrealistic expectations are not met. Instead, it is much more productive to praise yourself for the small wins and just plain hanging in there. Getting through each day in a changing situation deserves self praise and non-judgment. This approach will have a far greater impact in moving you through the change you are experiencing, reduce stress and bring you more in alignment. Love & Light, Elisa The new year provides a fresh start to up-level your life and get on the right track for all that you want to come to fruition over the course of the next twelve months. Only by having well strategized goals can you move the trajectory of your life forward and if you haven't already done so, now is the time to get clear about your desired outcomes for the coming year and here's why: 1. Goal Setting is More Effective Than Resolutions If you have declared resolutions in the past and found that they have drifted into non-existence after the first month of the year, you may want to consider setting goals instead. The definition of a resolution is "a firm decision to do or not to do something," and that is a good start, but it is hardly a path to insuring that your decision will actually become part of your life. Goal setting involves not only the act of declaring what it is you want, but a clear roadmap of action steps for achievement. This includes specificity about the goal, a way to measure your progress and well defined timeframes. 2. Enthusiasm is Highest As The New Year Begins Ringing in the new year brings with it feelings of excitement and enthusiasm about all the possibilities available during the twelve months ahead. This high vibrational mental state is perfect for setting intentions for the outcomes most desired. According to neuroscientist and author Joe Dispenza, when we match our intention with an elevated emotion we attract those results to us. "Embracing the elevated emotions of your future creation before the experience happens, so your heart will produce a strong magnetic field, will draw your future to you." 3. Forward Thinking Creates Your Future Everyone struggles with repeating the same patterns and then feeling surprised when the same results happen. Much of this is due to what comprises our thoughts. Ask yourself, are you focused on the past and how you haven't gotten the results you desire? Staying the course in our thoughts and emotions with those spectacular outcomes we want and deserve will create that future. There's something about the start of the new year that naturally puts the focus on the future, opening up a clear view to what that future looks and feels like. Seize this perfect storm for allowing your creative juices to flow and lay out your goal(s) and the roadmap for reaching your intended destination. 4. Change Requires a Plan Let's face it, at the heart of doing anything new in our lives is that dreaded thing called change. Humans were not built for change. Like the expression goes, if it ain't broke, don't fix it. But, what if it is broke? In other words, you are not manifesting the results you want in your life. We all know that exhilarating feeling of wanting to do something different in our lives because of the happy ending we believe will result. Then, what happens? Why do so many find themselves in the exact same place over and over? This is because change is not easy. To achieve something new, we must first accept that change is required - whether it be a change in our mindset, inner beliefs or our actions. Stepping out of the old familiar and into the new is challenging. Therefore, when you set clear goals with a methodical plan of actionable steps, you are more likely to go slowly and with intention than to race out of the starting gate, only to run out of steam and relapse into old patterns. Setting your goals now is the best insurance for looking back this time next year with a sense of satisfaction at your accomplishments! Love & Light, -Elisa With the end of the year quickly approaching and bringing us into 2023, you may be thinking about the outcomes you would like throughout the coming year. Goal setting is one of the surest ways to insure that you achieve the outcomes you most desire. Huge transformations can be achieved in your reality and the life you are living. According to Darren Hardy, author of The Compound Effect, “when you define your goals, you give your brain something new to look for and focus on. It’s as if you’re giving your mind a new set of eyes from which to see all the people, circumstances, conversations, resources, ideas, and creativity surrounding you.” Whether your goals are personal growth, career, relationship, health or financial, consider the many benefits of kicking off your New Year with some strategic goal setting. 1. Gives You A Destination and Direction Whether you are traveling by car, train, or plane, in order to get anywhere, you first need to know the destination. Once you determine your destination, you then need to set a direction plan to get there. The same is true when it comes to life. How could you possibly expect to get anywhere if you don't have a specific destination, aka a goal, so that you can plot a course? If you find yourself saying things like "I hope to..." or "I want to..." or "God willing, I'll get...", chances are, you are not taking enough charge of your future to guarantee that you will have certain results. Whatever the area of your life, your goal(s) should be specific, realistic and possess a timeframe. 2. Provides A Foundation for Manageable Steps With well defined goals, you are in a good position to set your course. If you think of this in terms of travel, once you have your destination, you are then able to set your GPS or buy your plane ticket to get there. With solid goals in place, it is easier to get clarity about the specific steps needed to implement and act upon to achieve your desired outcome. This becomes your general roadmap, and similar to your GPS, you can figure out along the way if your route needs to be adjusted or modified, but in the end, your destination stays the same. What's more, with each manageable step you take, it will become more obvious how you are moving from where you were to where you wanted to be when you first set your goal(s). 3. Refocuses Your Energy from Thinking to Doing With specific goals and a subsequent road map for getting there, your are purposefully igniting your power for manifesting results in your life. By redirecting your energy from a stagnant state of contemplating abstract ideas, you are instead doing. Taking bold and well directed action steps, turns your intangible thoughts into end results that can be seen and measured. 4. Up-levels Your Life with A Compound Effect
Setting goals is a very powerful action because it puts into motion daily efforts that over time will compound and create transformational results. According to Hardy, "Small, Smart Choices + Consistency + time = Radical Difference. "By laying out your goals, setting action steps and sticking to it daily, it is impossible to fail! 5. Helps With Accountability Another valuable benefit of goal setting is that it helps to keep you accountable and moving forward. By attaching schedules, timeframes and deadlines to your action steps, you are more likely to adhere to following through and getting things done. 6. Keeps You Focused and Motivated Getting distracted is one of the most common reasons for why people do not get the results they want. Just as blinders are used to keep the horse focused on the task at hand, so too are your goals, which can create mental barriers to keep you from veering off track and losing sight of the desired end result. According to an article in Forbes, "Having a clear, compelling goal mobilizes your focus toward actionable behavior. In other words, goal setting should motivate you." 7. Reinforces A Sense of Self Empowerment When you become the architect of your life by determining your goals and proactively take actions towards them, there is a sense of control that comes with it. Goal setting helps with finding meaning and purpose, develops positive self-regard, improve mood and self-esteem - all of which lead to feeling better about yourself and your life. Love & Light, Elisa |
ELISA
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Elisa Valentino
HOLISTIC BEHAVIORAL PRACTITIONER DIVORCE & LIFE TRANSITION COACH SPIRITUAL LIGHTWORKER PUBLIC SPEAKER PODCAST HOST |